Humility
There is something inside of us that recognizes true humility when we encounter it. We recognize it as the deep soul quality that it is. You don’t find humility in the person who lives only on the surface of life or the person who has not been ripened by suffering. When humility is present, it touches us in a particular way. We sense that we can trust this person, that they are being transparent and real, that they are not hiding. We sense that such people are not trying to fool themselves and are not going to try to fool us.
We are touched by the gentleness that humility brings. It is a gentleness born of respect, of seeing the light in others, and from a softness of stance not hardened by self-importance. We know this person is safe and will not hurt us. We recognize humility as a sign of depth and maturity that we aspire to grow into. It is important, then, to understand humility and what fosters it.
What is humility?
Humility is seeing that we still have a long way to go in embodying our deepest truths and values. We still need support and guidance. It comes from a deep recognition that we are not “better” than the next person, that we each have different things to teach one another, and we’re each a “work in progress.”
Humility is seeing that our strengths are the result of our good fortune, the fact that we were not so wounded that we lost all of our inner resources, that these resources come from a greater source, and that others would have these same capacities if they had some of the same advantages. It is understanding that we are always standing on the shoulders of others.
Humility is seeing that the capacities we are most proud of don’t really belong to the one who takes pride, but are part of a deeper stream. They are universal capacities that we can all tap into by moving deeper into our essential nature. This is related to the concept of “mystical poverty,” which is seeing that whatever richness you experience is not really “yours” (small self).
Humility is very different than the internal atmosphere of shame and deficiency we often carry around. The latter are simply feelings generated by old tapes we are playing. We might say that shame is the ego feeling bad about itself, while humility is seeing that whether it feels good or bad about itself, ego is just a superficial layer. Feelings are just feelings.
It is probably easier to be humble if you are not too wrapped up in shame, because then you have the strengths that are needed. You need to be strong enough to feel uncomfortable without falling apart, strong enough to let in suffering. You have to be free enough from insecurity that you can allow yourself to feel insecure at times. You don’t need to be “beyond” insecurity. You don’t need to be beyond any kind of imperfection.
Humility is accepting your imperfections and giving up the struggle to be somewhere other than where you are. It is this struggle that keeps the ego in business. Accept imperfection, accept insecurity, accept suffering, accept vulnerability and dependency, accept not being better than anybody else, and what is left for the ego to do? Radical humility is thus a path to freedom.
It is a path to freedom, and yet to try to be humble creates a catch. It too easily becomes something we put on, a correctness of attitude and behavior we then become prideful about.
To be true, humility has to be born each moment from immediate perception. It comes with the perception of our limitations, of our basic equality with others, and the perception of spiritual truths, most specifically our dependence on the Source within us.
So humility is staying in touch with the truth. It is staying in touch with the truth of our essential nature and our personal limitations. Since ego activity is one of the things that most clouds our self-perception, watching your ego at work is one of the best protectors against self-deceit.
I have certainly found it humbling to be aware of my ego. Seeing its shenanigans, I remember that I am not yet free of ego. I notice, for example, when my ego starts to take pride in the (false) sense that I am beyond all that ego stuff. I see my ego trying to make me look more evolved than I am, and this seeing blows my cover. It yanks me off my pedestal and back into reality.
Just as it is humbling to privately notice one’s ego activity, it is humbling to expose this to others. Perhaps this is why we trust those who can do this. We sense that they are baring their tender underbelly and are therefore trusting us. Such trust tends to bring out the best in us rather than the worst. Since the other is keeping an eye out for self-inflation, we don’t need to. We can rest in their presence, as they rest in ours. Their being transparent invites us to be transparent, and in this transparency, we are both illuminated by our true nature.
[abbreviated from longer article]
