My Therapeutic Approach
HOLISTIC AND ECLECTIC
My work might be considered holistic psychotherapy because it includes so many levels: the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
I draw from various traditions (the meaning of “eclectic”), using whatever in my repertoire seems to click with a particular client. These include working with “parts” of self, including inner child parts; working in the therapeutic relationship to help heal attachment wounds (a more psychodynamic orientation); utilizing art and journal-writing; and working with beliefs and life structures (elements of cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT). The body comes into play in a couple of ways: first tapping the wisdom of the body through dialogue, experiential imagery, and various techniques used in somatic therapies to both hear what the body is saying and help it to release blocks, and second in terms of keeping an eye out for how physiological states affect mental health and referring out to various healthcare practitioners. I also help people utilize and develop their inner knowing and their spiritual resources. And I’m practical enough to know when we need to let go of the “why” and just start changing habits and building new skills (for example communication and assertiveness skills).
WORKING WITH TRAUMA
A large part of my practice deals with trauma. Here I combine techniques from Somatic Experiencing and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, brainspotting (which grew out of EMDR), and mindfulness and experiential imagery. I also draw on my understanding of developmental issues and basic good therapy skills.
STYLE
Whatever the issue, I try to keep an eye on what is happening in the therapeutic relationship and to be really present, nonjudgmental, and responsive. I think it’s better when a therapist is experienced as warm and personal rather than as cool and clinical. I am available between sessions when a client needs support during a crisis period. For me, being a therapist means really showing up.
This doesn’t mean there are no boundaries. A therapeutic relationship has a specific set of rules that are designed to safeguard therapy. In a therapeutic relationship, the focus is on your needs, not mine. Studies have found that too many therapists spend too much time talking and not enough listening. My focus is on deeply listening to content, nonverbal messages, and watching for patterns. I help the client listen, too, and gain insights. (This is referred to as insight-oriented therapy.) I also try to tap into the client’s innate wisdom and let that (rather than preconceived ideas) direct the session. This is different than many brief therapies that are more educational in nature or that are very directive and structured.
I am not, however, a blank screen like the old Freudians. I am here as a person, fully engaged. I’ll even try to inject some humor at moments, as laughter helps put things in perspective and regulate the nervous system – and it’s fun, too.
BEING A WOUNDED BUT NOT WOUNDING HEALER
Research has found that a therapist’s level of mental health is an important factor in therapeutic success. Demaris Wehr wrote about the difference between what she called wounded healers and wounding healers. Wounded healers have empathy and understanding because they’ve been there and have found their way out of their troubles. Wounding healers think they’ve done their personal work, but haven’t done enough of it, so their limitations and “stuff” come into play in their work with clients. A therapist needs to be impeccable in terms of being aware enough of their own unconscious and needs that they do not bring these into the relationship. (I’ve included a fuller discussion in my book Healing From Trauma: A Survivor’s Guide.)
I have done my work - I can say that with confidence. I’ve logged in over 20 years of deep personal work with therapists and teachers, including my own trauma therapy. I stay on top of my internal workings through journaling as well as scheduled inquiries with partners trained in inquiry. I also see a therapist for supervision to help with blind spots and expand my skills.
I have also made considerable investment in my spiritual development. I spent 16 years in the Diamond Approach, which integrates deep psychodynamic work with a refined understanding of our spiritual nature. I meditate regularly, have experienced a number of spiritual traditions, and have authored a number of spiritually eclectic Books & Articles .
