What is Spiritual Maturity?
There are many images of what it means to be "spiritual" just as there are many ideas of what it means to be cool. These vary by tradition, but also by stage of development. Here is my list of what it looks like to become a spiritual grown-up.
As we mature:
- Our spirituality grows more from our direct experience than from dogma or tradition.
We are more able to recognize truth when we hear it.
We become discriminating consumers in the spiritual marketplace. We’ve been around enough that we know the different neighborhoods and we know what is real food and what is fluff.
We can distinguish between the surface features of a teaching and its deeper truths. We don’t get lost in the surface features or idolize them.
We can withstand challenge. We want what is false to be exposed. We care more about the truth than about being “right.”
We don’t turn away from that which frightens us. We understand that the spiritual journey is one of constantly facing the unknown.
Our minds become more and more open, and we are enchanted with the mysteries. We can let our beliefs and our constructs change. We delight in being surprised.
We don’t use spiritual states as an escape or an anesthetic. We face what we need to face in our lives.
We’re no longer using our spirituality to get “brownie points” or to impress others.
We get hip to the ways that our ego uses spirituality to reinforce itself.
We don’t grasp after external forms of security so much. We trust that things will happen as they need to and that there is a greater intelligence at work.
We accept what is, not always perfectly, but to the best of our ability. This is something that continually grows.
We don’t fall into periods of indulgence. We recognize when we are doing something false or out of integrity, and we stop.
Our integrity gets hard like a rock. It is a solid presence in our lives. Acting according to the truth becomes standard practice.
We can let go of our attachment to flashy experiences and appreciate the miracles of everyday life. We can let ourselves be ordinary.
We can enjoy subtle states and subtle pleasures, such as beauty and peace. We develop a taste for depth and mystery.
We no longer resist emptiness but learn to rest in it.
We recognize the sacred in its innumerable forms.
Our humility grows. We accept our imperfections and recognize others’ gifts. We’re no longer at the mercy of an insecure ego that needs to come out on top.
We have a sense of our place in the universe (both in terms of our individual gifts and our interdependence with other beings).
We are able to laugh at ourselves and appreciate the humor in life.
We show patience both with ourselves and with others. We stop shaking our fist at God and show a little patience there too.
We recover the qualities of the “natural child”: innocence, wonder, spontaneity and joy.
We feel more gratitude.
We can face our anger and our hatred. We don’t use spirituality to deny or cover over these aspects. We can own up to our jealousies, our hurt, our pettiness and know that we’re more than all of this.
Our sense of value comes from being directly in touch with our preciousness and worth. It comes from knowing our own inner nature, not as a result of outer accomplishments—although we can appreciate these too.
Our hearts open, and our love becomes less conditional.
We are kinder and more generous.
We feel empathy and goodwill toward a wider and wider range of beings. We don’t treat other life forms casually or reduce other human beings to their functional value for us. Through our attitudes and actions, we express respect and compassion.
We live more consciously and are not caught in automatic patterns. We are aware of ourselves and the effects of our actions.
Our spirituality is something we live. We walk our talk.
* Adapted from a much longer list.
